“My dad’s from that generation like a lot of immigrants where he feels like if you come to this country, you pay this thing like the American dream tax: like you’re going to endure some racism, and if it doesn’t cost you your life, well hey, you lucked out. Pay it; there you go, Uncle Sam. I was born here, so I actually had the audacity of equality.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“When you grow up as a minority in a majority culture, a lot of times, you’re just trying to fit in.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I love air conditioning and Starbucks.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Donald Trump does not touch alcohol, which is really respectable. But think about that. That means every statement, every interview, every tweet – completely sober.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“My dad was the only son from his entire family to come to America, and I was his only son. We had come to the States to achieve security and success for our family. Rules were simple: No fun, no friends, no girls. Go to school, come home, and study.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“As a Muslim, I like to watch Fox News for the same reason I like to play ‘Call of Duty.’ Sometimes, I like to turn my brain off and watch strangers insult my family and heritage.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I exist in this hyphen. I’m an Indian-American-Muslim kid, but am I more Indian, or am I more American? What part of my identity am I?”
― Hasan Minhaj
“New Brown America represents a whole generation of kids that are descendants of either immigrants or immigrants themselves, that are coming to America, enriching what it means to be an American.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Funny and sad are two sides of the same coin. I think that most comedians are able to tap into deep subject matter.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Personal narrative is one of the few things where people don’t get caught up in fighting over esoteric rhetoric.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I’m a first-generation kid in this country. I so identify with America and its culture. I’m a citizen, I was born here. I’m American. At the same time, like most first-generation kids, I have this other identity to another country back home, which is India.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Donald Trump doesn’t care about free speech. The man who tweets everything that enters his head doesn’t care about the amendment which lets him do that.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“My goal is just to continue to find mediums to tell stories that I think need to be told.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I’ve learned to start from a really sound argument, boil down the essence of what you’re trying to say, then build your humor around that, rather than starting with, ‘This sounds funny,’ and going from there.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Being healthy is the crown that only the sick can see. A lot of times, we take it for granted.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I’m addicted to chocolate chip cookies. I mean that seriously. If there are chocolate chip cookies, I will devour them.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Growing up in the States, there’s this part of me that’s like, man, I’m Indian. Like, this is where I belong. And as soon as I got to India, and I had to go to the bathroom in some places, I was, like, ‘Man – I am American.’”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I like to have straight-up black coffee, but when you get it, sometimes you’ll burn your tongue, or it spills on your hands, and you get third degree burns. I happen to be the kind of human being who doesn’t want to sue coffee companies for money, so I just say, ‘Hey, can you give me some coffee, but can you also give me like, eight ice cubes.’”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I had a huge Indian wedding, and I did it for my wife, and I did it for my white friends.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I think the best comedians have that bravery and courage to say, ‘This is what it is. This is unfair; that’s not cool.’”
― Hasan Minhaj
“The ‘Homecoming King’ show started off as a storytelling show that I had done; I worked with Greg Walloch to develop it and build it into something bigger.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“A lot of times, especially when it comes to political debates, people get caught up in esoteric statistics. So the realest thing I can do that has nothing to do with numbers is tell you my personal experience.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Free speech is the foundation of an open and liberal democracy from college campuses to the White House.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“You can hear my opinion on various subjects, but telling my story is the most authentic thing I can do. There’s nothing more powerful I can share with an audience.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“As satirists, we get to stand on the sidelines of life and comment on what’s happening.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Every time a U.S.A. Today slides underneath my door, it’s like they’re saying, ‘Hey, you’re not that smart, right?’”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Racism has a very quick expiration date when exposed to actual contact with people.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“U.S.A. Today is what happens when the coupon section takes over the newspaper.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I’m a big believer in doing everything you can and everything in your power to change the outcome. But health is one of those things you can’t control, and it’s a very scary thing for me.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I feel like we have so much to add to this book called the American Dream, and I want to add our chapter to it. I want to talk about what it means to be brown American and this concept of what I feel is the New Brown America.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Donald Trump is an extremist leader who came out of nowhere. He’s self-financed, recruits through social media, attracts his followers with a radical ideology to take over the world, and is actively trying to promote a war between Islam and the West.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Everybody’s past and history informs them.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“There are definitely some set topics I go onstage with and want to talk about, but there’s also an element of improvisation and spontaneity that I like to bring to each performance and talk about uniquely in that room.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“The story that I’m telling in ‘Homecoming King’ about falling in love, these are things that happened to me – that actually happen every day in our backyards and in our communities.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“’Vice News’ is cool because they’ll just send your local barista to go talk to the head of ISIS.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“If it’s just me on stage telling stories for, like, an hour, that’s great. That’s fine. But like a sandcastle on the beach, it gets washed away at night. It’s so much more powerful if we can all share our narratives and doorstep moments and make us feel a little less alone. I’m just trying to use social media and new media as a way to capture that.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“J. Cole’s 2014 ‘Forrest Hills Drive.’ The album, artwork, and director of that album was a huge influence on the visuals for ‘Homecoming King.’”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I’ve found the 90-10 rule to be pretty true: 90 percent of what I come up with and write down is kinda ‘eh,’ and then somehow, someway, 10 percent of it happens to work out really great in my act.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“One thing I found very interesting about comedians around the world was their knowledge of stuff outside of their own culture and comfort zone. That’s not very common in the States. We produce our own soft power, which is pop culture, but we rarely try to absorb and learn information from other cultures and countries.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“The traditional Hollywood system is pretty rigid, but the film scene in, say, South Africa is booming with a lot of possibilities. If you have the cameras and reasonable capital, you can put your film in theatres next to ‘Guardians of the Galaxy.’ A great example of that was Kagiso Lediga’s film ‘Blitz Patrole.’”
― Hasan Minhaj
“If you want a great replacement, like, who can follow Barack and still have that swag, that charisma, that charm and be historic – I think it would be Tina Fey for president.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“There’s all sorts of terrible things that happen around the world. And comedy’s one of those few things where you can discuss those things.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“To show that a comedian on stage in India talking about sanitation or in South Africa talking about HIV and AIDS awareness, if you follow the joke into their lives, you can see that, like, oh, these things aren’t just contrived in joke books. This is real life. I think the best comedians have that bravery and courage to say, Oh, this is what it is.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Aditi is a comedy superstar over in India. She’s only one of three female English-speaking comedians in India.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“The movies ‘Dope’ and ‘Straight Outta Compton’ blew me away. I love seeing directors and writers of color make amazing slices of pop culture.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“’Shantaram’ is fantastic. An Australian prisoner escapes & joins the mafia in India? Sign me up. I love stuff that is based on true stories.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Donald Trump is not a 71-year-old white man. He is an Indian uncle. He wears suits that don’t fit; he can’t speak English properly. He works with his idiotic sons; he hates women but loves his daughter. He makes up words when he gets angry. He is an Indian uncle.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I’m not a Larry David. I don’t have a ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ and a ‘Seinfeld’ in me.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I can’t emphasize how important free speech is to a liberal and free democracy.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“A lot of people in the media say that Donald Trump goes golfing too much, which raises a very important question: Why do you care? Do you want to know what he’s not doing when he’s golfing? Being president. Let the man putt-putt!”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Donald Trump is liar-in-chief.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Only in America can the first-generation Indian American Muslim kid get on the stage and make fun of the president.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Sean Spicer has somehow been doing PR since 1999, which is 18 years. Somehow, after 18 years, his go-to move was denying the Holocaust.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Every time Trump goes golfing, the headline should read, ‘Trump Goes Golfing. Apocalypse Delayed.’”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Everything isn’t breaking news. You can’t go to DEFCON One just because Sanjay Gupta found a new moisturizer.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Every time I watch CNN, it feels like you’re assigning me homework. Is Trump a Russian spy? I don’t know. You tell me – I’m watching the news. It feels like I’m watching CNN watch the news. Just take an hour, figure out what you want to say, then go on the air.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“It is 2017, and we are living in the golden age of lying.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Sean Spicer gives press briefings like someone is going through his browser history while he watches.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I look like a melanin version of Chris Hayes.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Even the president is not beyond the reach of the First Amendment.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“’CNN Tonight’ should just be called ‘Wait a second! Now hold on! Stop yelling at each!’ with Don Lemon.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“People still assume the White House Correspondents’ Association works for the White House, when in reality, it’s a group of journalists who cover the White House. It’s a branding thing, but because it has the ‘White House’ before it, people think they’re just King Joffrey’s goons.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“The news is best when it’s serious.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Political culture has become popular culture.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Whoever has the best take is what matters. My challenge is finding the best take, and it’ll always be that.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“My mom worked at the VA for years, so any time I can do anything to help, it’s a must.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Dick Gregory and Richard Pryor laid the groundwork for us as Indian-Americans. How can we add our story to their groundwork is the question.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I’m a huge fan of Beverly Cleary.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“My biggest inspiration is black America and what they’ve done in the arts. I have always felt like an outsider in America, and what black Americans have done to add their chapter to this book called the American dream, and to be so unapologetic and true, and have added so much to art and culture in the world.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I feel like every conversation with my father is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie; 90 minutes of build-up to no payoff.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I think the way comedy is represented on screen is it’s either all fart jokes – and it’s just laughter for the sake of laughter – or it’s one of those things where it’s just kind of very preachy, very heavy-handed.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“’Stand-Up Planet’ was Anthony Bourdain-meets-stand-up comedy.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Donald Trump is white ISIS – WISIS.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I’d rather be an angry optimist than an angry nihilist.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Comedy is very disarming. It’s a way to talk about things and still be light-hearted. And when it’s done really well, you never see the strings, whereas when you watch an infomercial or a politician speaking, a lot of times you can see the strings, you can see what agenda they’re trying to push.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“If you and I believe two different things, I can attack you verbally all day, but if I can make you laugh and show you the absurdity of your argument, it will lower you guard. People let you in then.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I’m just an American citizen like everyone else and I’m not sitting at the power table in the room where it all happens.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“America’s unique ability to change and be super flexible is pretty dope, man. It’s pretty incredible. And that’s what I want to contribute to.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Nuanced debate can’t stand up to a guy who’s calling women pigs and retweeting white supremacists.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“When you can tailor your act, you want it to be about yourself but also about the people in the room and the experience you guys are having in that moment; it is really a special thing.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Bananas are my go-to breakfast.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I wanted to be Atticus Finch.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I went to college during the Kazaa/Napster era, and we had free Internet, which was a huge deal. People were just downloading all of everything.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“A lot of times in life, it’s personal choices that you’re making, actively, and then there’s a myriad of forces and circumstances that are out of our control. And without even realizing it, you’re riding a wave of events that you have no control of.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“On ‘The Daily Show,’ we get so caught up in the day-to-day news cycle. A story breaks, and then the piranhas in late night, we all jump to the headline, and we dissect it, and then we have to move on to the next day.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“One of the biggest things immigrant kids oftentimes feel is this big disparity between our parents and us. And our parents are staunch pragmatists, and I consider myself to be an optimist.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“In high school, I didn’t know what comedy was, but I was involved in speech and debate and public speaking.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“My favorite comedians are just presenting an argument, and they’re doing it in a funny way.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I was good at speech and debate and academics. I should’ve stayed in my lane, but I kept trying out for the basketball team. I thought I would make the N.B.A.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I had been cut from the basketball team every year. But I was like, ‘I can turn it around! Michael Jordan made it!’ You see it a lot of times – you’ll have an athlete that you love, and then they’ll be like, ‘I also want to rap,’ and you’re like, ‘Don’t do that.’ I was that kid.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“What I love about comedy is that we’re this group of weirdos, and the only language that matters is, ‘Are you funny?’ And it really is this oddly cool American idea where comedy’s the marketplace of ideas. May the best idea win.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I think perspective is a necessary, amazing thing.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Jokes for jokes’ sake are kind of meaningless to me. I understand the value of them, but it doesn’t speak to me as much. You can lace your argument with jokes, but tell me why you’re presenting this argument. What does it mean?”
― Hasan Minhaj
“The day-to-day microaggressions that we all face, yeah, you have to let some stuff slide, or you go, ‘I gotta keep moving; there’s bigger fish to fry.’ It’s something that I still deal with. But I’ve tried to have the audacity of equality and to follow my heart in those moments where I feel like something is wrong.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I was actually a really sort of nervous, shy kid. In high school, it was one of those things where I wasn’t popular or a loser; I just don’t think many people really knew who I was.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I just hope that people get a variety of news sources to keep themselves informed.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I grew up in a pretty strict household in the sense that we just didn’t have cable, so I wasn’t familiar with what stand-up comedy was. I remember telling my friends that I thought stand-up comedy was like the thing that happened before the episode of ‘Seinfeld.’”
― Hasan Minhaj
“My mom works at the VA; she’s been working at the VA for 15 plus years, and yet she’s helping so many veterans coming back from brown Muslim countries, and my mom treats them. It’s this weird – sometimes I feel torn. It’s this dual identity. I’m so proud to be American, and at the same time, I disagree with our foreign policy.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I just hope I reach out to people and connect to people in such a way that they continue to support what I do.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“We shouldn’t get lost in the bombastic tweets of Trump. He provides such great fodder every day. You don’t want to lose sight of the other stuff that’s going on that’s even more important.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“When you have friends that are Muslim, Jewish, gay, from any marginalized group, you realize that they are so much more than this esoteric talking point.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I call my style Classic Americana Swag. I do my vibe, and I’ll throw in a cool sneaker here or there, a pair of Js.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I think there are people from every side who are allies for justice and good.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Trump is inadvertently forcing us to show him how great this country truly is – that we are better together than we are divided.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“This first-generation narrative keeps happening over and over and over again, whether it was Irish or Jewish or our community, South Asians, Japanese-Americans, Mexican-Americans. We’ve all gone through this sort of bridge, and it will continue to happen.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“When you immerse yourself in a community, you tend to rise in that community.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I just started the way most comics start, doing open mic shows around Sacramento and San Francisco, and eventually, I moved to L.A. After about four or five years in L.A., I got the call to join the ‘The Daily Show.’”
― Hasan Minhaj
“I’ve experienced Islamophobic stuff. But I don’t care – you can say whatever you want to say about me, but I am who I am. I think that what I’m trying to fight for and what I’m performing for is bigger than any religion, race, creed, or class.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“In California, you can stretch your arms out and not be touching another person. You get space, sun and, in general, dignity.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“As a single guy, the baseline of what I needed was so low. I just needed an air mattress, food, and rent money.”
― Hasan Minhaj
“Beena and I didn’t move in together until we got married.”
― Hasan Minhaj
Leave a Reply