“You will never win if you never begin.”
― Helen Rowland
“The woman who appeals to a man’s vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.”
― Helen Rowland
“A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.”
― Helen Rowland
“A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.”
― Helen Rowland
“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they ‘don’t understand’ one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.”
― Helen Rowland
“A woman’s flattery may inflate a man’s head a little; but her criticism goes straight to his heart, and contracts it so that it can never again hold quite as much love for her.”
― Helen Rowland
“Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.”
― Helen Rowland
“Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.”
― Helen Rowland
“A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth – and endures all the rest.”
― Helen Rowland
“Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.”
― Helen Rowland
“There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.”
― Helen Rowland
“Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.”
― Helen Rowland
“Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.”
― Helen Rowland
“Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.”
― Helen Rowland
“Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.”
― Helen Rowland
“A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run – sit still and ignore him and he’ll come purring at your feet.”
― Helen Rowland
“In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar – a practice which is still continued.”
― Helen Rowland
“In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.”
― Helen Rowland
“It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.”
― Helen Rowland
“A man’s desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.”
― Helen Rowland
“When a man makes a woman his wife, it’s the highest compliment he can pay her, and it’s usually the last.”
― Helen Rowland
“Failing to be there when a man wants her is the greatest sin a woman can commit – except being there when he doesn’t want her.”
― Helen Rowland
“Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her – when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her?”
― Helen Rowland
“To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.”
― Helen Rowland
“A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.”
― Helen Rowland
“And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.”
― Helen Rowland
“Don’t waste time trying to break a man’s heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.”
― Helen Rowland
“Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.”
― Helen Rowland
“When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.”
― Helen Rowland
“Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can’t be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.”
― Helen Rowland
“What a man calls his ‘conscience’ is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.”
― Helen Rowland
“Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing.”
― Helen Rowland
“Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.”
― Helen Rowland
“Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.”
― Helen Rowland
“When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.”
― Helen Rowland
“The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn’t commit when he had the opportunity.”
― Helen Rowland
“A fool and her money are soon courted.”
― Helen Rowland
“Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.”
― Helen Rowland
“A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.”
― Helen Rowland
“There’s so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who’s married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them.”
― Helen Rowland
“Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.”
― Helen Rowland
“A man’s heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant.”
― Helen Rowland
“Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.”
― Helen Rowland
“Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman’s punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.”
― Helen Rowland
“It isn’t tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it’s separating himself from all the others.”
― Helen Rowland
“Variety is the spice of love.”
― Helen Rowland
“A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.”
― Helen Rowland
“A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.”
― Helen Rowland
“The hardest task in a girl’s life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.”
― Helen Rowland
“After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.”
― Helen Rowland
“There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.”
― Helen Rowland
“France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are ‘made in America.’”
― Helen Rowland
“The tenderest spot in a man’s make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.”
― Helen Rowland
“It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son – and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.”
― Helen Rowland
“No man can understand why a woman shouldn’t prefer a good reputation to a good time.”
― Helen Rowland
“Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.”
― Helen Rowland
“Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”
― Helen Rowland
“One man’s folly is another man’s wife.”
― Helen Rowland
“Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature – and another woman to help him forget them.”
― Helen Rowland
“When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.”
― Helen Rowland
“A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little ‘personal characteristics.’”
― Helen Rowland
“It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing.”
― Helen Rowland
“Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.”
― Helen Rowland
“After marriage, a woman’s sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man’s so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.”
― Helen Rowland
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